my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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