Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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