great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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