I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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