my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
two words...techno handjob
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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