check it out our google latitudes are spooning
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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