I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
