I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
