hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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