How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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