We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize