He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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