I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
