their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
