Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
