There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
