ya dads aren't the best wingmen
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
how does that bad decision feel?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
