Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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