Are we in a gay sports bar?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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