Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
