i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Randomize
