honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
