so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
