Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
