another moral hangover. fuck.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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