Buhtt sex?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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