i just wanna soil my oats bro
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
