How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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