I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
