Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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