I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I have demons in me.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
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