You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
