i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
