This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
