some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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