mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
