my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize