I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
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