after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
