are you so shy because you have an std?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
