his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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