Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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