What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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