So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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