She's JV to your varsity
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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