im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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