She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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