Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
