My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
