We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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