i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
