Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
