I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
