Sry I called you an 8
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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