she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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