I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize