i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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