were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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