Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
