that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
